Titi - two years anniversary

I wrote the following texts several weeks ago and sent it to the New York Times Modern Love column. They could not use it. Too bad for them.

Strangely, yesterday, I had forgotten about the anniversary. I had been so busy this past week. DH reminded me about it yesterday evening and it made me a little sad.

It was a really difficult time, probably because I was so unprepared and everything was so sudden. He was gone in three days. I do believe that the best I could do for Titi was to be there for him during his last days. I was so miserable that I had any way no other choice. I could literally no go to work. It took me a really long time to recover. I cried over Titi more than over any other event, person or pet.

Two years later, I am really glad to have Momo and Chouchou in our lives. Even if Momo's latest habit is to wake me up with strong and loud miaws. I had so much pet love to give and both cats needed so much of it.

Here it goes...


Two-year’s anniversary
By amb (c)

September 10 is approaching.
I am dreading that day. It will be the second anniversary of Titi’s death. His sudden departure was such a shock that it took me most of these past two years to get over it. And I can’t say that I really got over it.
Titi was my beloved cat. We had lived 13 wonderful years together, between my home country Switzerland and my adopted country Japan.
He had followed me, something unwillingly I think, between those two countries. Switzerland-Japan, Japan-Switzerland and again Switzerland-Japan. Flying was not fun and for his second and last trip to Japan, he had to stay for two weeks in quarantine.
Titi passed away on a Saturday morning. I had just left home for work. I came to believe that he waited for me to leave before finally letting go of life.
For months, he had lost weight. So slowly that my husband and I had not realized how serious the situation was. Or maybe, we were just unable to accept the truth.
He had become very picky with food and would not eat much. But his fur remained as shiny and as beautiful as it had always been. And until the end, I believed that he would be ok. How could it be any different ? A cat’s fur is the mirror of its health, isn’t it ?
That same week of September 10, 2005, on Wednesday evening, I brought Titi to the nearby vet. His behavior was unusual and he seemed to be in pain.
My husband was out of town. At the vet, I called him with my mobile phone and asked him to talk to the vet. Although I could not understand all what was said, I feared for the worst.
And the worst it was. Titi had a stomach tumor and about three months to live. One week if he would stop eating.
The shock was so strong that I could not stop crying for three days. I was unable to go to work and decided to stay home with him.
In the past, he had loved getting reiki energy. I tried to give him some, but the energy would not flow. I knew than that he would not live three months, let alone one week.
And three days later, he was gone.

It all started in 1992. I had moved out of my parents’ home to my first apartment. All my life, I had been surrounded by cats. I had grown up on a farm in the Swiss country side with cats enjoying their freedom and usually not living very long. A nearby straight street was just too tempting. Drivers would speed their car, not giving any chance to any cat that found itself on their path.
I had lost too many cats and had decided that my own cats would remain indoor cats and never go outside.
I had tried to adopt an abandoned cat at an animal refuge, but it did not work out because of some silly rule (I was still a minor). I was venting to an acquaintance who told me that his grandma had a kitten to give away. And very soon, there I was, picking up Titi at the old lady’s place.
I had put Titi in a basket and was driving back home. As soon as the engine started running, Titi came out of the basket and found a nice and comfortable spot under the passenger’s seat. This is the first memory that comes to my mind when I think of Titi.
Two weeks later, I adopted another cat, Maxu. She survived Titi and just turned 15 a couple of months ago. My husband and I always thought that Maxu would be the first to leave, since she was obese, had some asthma and diabetes. But it was not meant to be.
Titi was very happy to have a new friend. But on Maxu’s side, it was a love and hate relationship. At first, she had been afraid of the new home, new owner and new cat. Later, she would love him. Only to start being annoyed by him and just ignore him.
I do sometimes feel sorry for Titi that I did not bring into his life a friendlier companion. Especially now, when I see how two cats can really get along well.
After Titi’s death, I could not bear the thought of having another cat. Until an acquaintance asked for help in finding a new home to new-born abandoned kittens she had found and was temporarily taking care of. The original two kittens I was planning to adopt died, together with two other siblings. We adopted the remaining kitten, Chouchou.
Another acquaintance found kittens near her home, hidden in a garbage bag ready for collection. She could not keep the surviving two and asked for help. We adopted Momo.
Around that time, I had a wonderful dream of Titi. Until then, dreams of my beloved departed cat would leave me in tears. But not that one. I took it as a message to give the love I had for him to kittens in need of a lot of love.
Momo came to our home in June last year, followed one week later by Chouchou. Quiet times with older cats are gone. The two kittens are now over one year old, but still as full of energy and fond of each other as when we first got them.
And I do love them dearly.

You can see pictures of all the cats on ambjp.blogspot.com